You can Actually Unfollow a Facebook Page Without Informing Everyone; New Scientific Research Finds

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A recent study conducted by Russian scientists has concluded that you can actually un-follow a Facebook page without informing anyone. For a period of five days, the researches carried out tests on 30 research subjects. The test subjects were made to “like” the Facebook page “Age of Shitlords” and then made to unlike the page four days later without informing anyone they were un-liking the page; they were then watched closely to see if un-liking the page would have any adverse effect on their physical, mental or emotional health. Out of the 30 people chosen for the test, 25 of them didn’t react in any way to un-liking the page. There were no dilated pupils, no drastic change in body temperature or any other anomalies.

Three of the test subjects seemed to feel sadness for a short time after un-liking the page, but this passed after a day. The researchers said this was a normal reaction due to the high quality and often humorous content within the page. There was however, great cause for concern as the last two test subjects developed upset stomachs which was evidenced by profuse sweating and frequent toilet breaks. However, upon further research, it was realized that this was merely a side effect of the overcooked dinner they had eaten the previous night. It was therefore concluded that un-liking a Facebook page without including anyone else would not harm you. This conclusion was backed by Harvard scientists, who conducted a similar research with 45 students and had the same results.

Speaking to a group of students at the Center for Trolls Conventions (CTC), Facebook’s owner, Mull Cuckerberg, addressed the new research and said that he and the entire staff and administration of Facebook were overjoyed by the test results. “Finally, people can unlike a page without having to inform everyone else. We believe this will make the work of the admin and followers of the page easier and more bearable” Mr. Cuckerberg said to the group of students amidst cheers and wolf whistles from the crowd.

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