Teenage Girls are the Most C*ncerous Demographic on the Planet.


Teenage girls are possibly the absolute stupidest, most materialistic and shallow human beings there are, and by default the easiest to make money off of. The average teenage girl wears a general uniform that includes leggings, Uggs, Northface jackets (with some variation in color) in the winter (at least last year. Every year the fashion changes slightly), extremely whorish costumes (police, nurse, cheerleader, teacher, etc.) on Halloween, and in the summer, extremely tiny shorts and skirts with sunglasses wide enough to hide her face. They then get angry when their slutty outfits earns them undesired attention from boys even though the way they dress implies a desire for such attention. Of course, all these outfits must come from a variety of different brands which also provide a wide variety of accessories they clearly don’t need.

Teenage girls tend to travel in herds of 5 or 6 as they have nothing resembling independent thought or character and are totally subservient to the “alpha” who decides who they can sleep with or date, what they can eat, where they go, what they wear and what they do. Perhaps the most annoying thing about teenage girls is their taste in music. The average teenage girl listens to mass produced idiotic music by the likes of Miley Cyrus/Hannah Montana, The Jonas brothers, Taylor Swift, Britney Spears, Justin Bieber, One Direction and others in groups. This is usually accompanied by screaming of the lyrics very obnoxiously to make sure everyone knows what idiots they are. If she is literate enough, the teenage girl usually turns to Twilight, the product of a brilliant Mormon woman who managed to take every love movie ever told, put it in a blender and poured the result onto paper to sell to this particular group. Her favorite television shows include Gossip Girl, The OC, and other teen dramas. As she cannot cause enough drama in real life, she needs heavy doses of artificial drama to satisfy her ego and inspire her on how to ruin the lives of her peers.

They are also of very low intelligence; they talk in very high pitched voices and interject every conversation with copious ‘likes’ and ‘ums’ and can never seem to get their ideas straight. On the internet, they often type “lyk thisss xox <#!!1” and are deeply defensive if anyone dares to disagree with their usually flawed and incorrect logic, which usually consists of another person not being allowed to voice their opinion if their achievements are not close to theirs even though they are usually talentless and ignorant. They are also known to be extremely dramatic when it is really not necessary, making it difficult to solve a social conflict when it should really be as simple as an apology. They have no value for loyalty and true friendship and constantly try to backstab anyone she perceives as a ‘bffl’. They crave attention, Period. At parties, frequently one will find some of these girls partaking in pseudo-lesbian kissing, some will be crying over some ex-boyfriend or some other idiocy, some will get too high or too drunk, and some will cause drama by fighting with a friend or openly cheating on their boyfriends in front of everyone.

Teenage girls as a whole are yet to make a contribution to science and human civilization. However I have to admit, not all of them are as bad as described above. Some are fully functioning intelligent young women who (and I have shown them this article) agree that a large portion of their age group fits this definition. However these smart teenage girls are getting increasingly rare. Most teen girls who come across this article will think that they fit into the variety that are smart, funny etc. When really, they most likely don’t.