A North Carolina man has been honored with the Vegan of the Year award for going a full two days without informing anyone that he’s a vegan. The award was presented to him by the Committee of Annoying Vegans Federation (CAVF) on Tuesday the second of January 2016 after they had observed a 48 hour long security tape of the man and concluded that he had indeed gone a full two days without telling everyone how much of a vegan he is. The committee then congratulated him on his bravery and resilience which they said should be emulated by other members of the vegan community.
“This is an important day for vegans everywhere,” the board chairman Mr. Joshua Meatphobe said at a press conference held after the award ceremony. “This man had dared go where no vegan has ever gone before. It’s one small step for one man, but a giant step for the animal kingdom.” He then concluded his speech by singing the song “I’m a Vegan” notable for containing the lyrics “I’m a vegan, I’m a vegan; I’m a vegan, I’m a vegan; I’m a vegan…”
Back home in North Carolina, there was much joy and celebration between his friends and family members who were overjoyed and proud of his achievements. His local vegan club had held a coming home party for him. Our camera crew finally caught up with the award winning man but before we could relay our questions to him, he quickly grabbed the microphone and shouted “I’m a vegan!” really loudly and then heaved a sigh of relief. “I’m sorry, I just had to get that out of my system,” he said. “It’s been a very tiring two days.” When asked what his next step in life is, he said he planned on going a full three days and maybe a whole week without telling anyone he’s a vegan. “It’s going to be hard, but with practice and vigilance I think I can make it.”