Gawker launches new website called “The cuck” – and we have three theories why

The Internet has three theories regarding the site

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We all knew going bankrupt and having low traffic would take its toll on Gawker media, but no one could have possibly predicted that they’d react in this way. Yesterday, the blogging site launched a men’s site titled “The Cuck”. No, this is not a joke. A welcome article posted on the site by Alex Pareene, a Gawker writer, describes the new site as a men’s site for men.

“Sex, dating, clothes, relationships, politics, sex, women – men have opinions about all of these things. And yet, there’s nowhere on the internet where you can go to read them. That changes today. Welcome to The Cuck, a pop -up bespoken men’s site for men”

The welcome message reads.

The Cuck describes itself as a site dedicated to exploring modern masculinity and praising women who act in Paul Feig movies.

In the two days that the site has been online, they have already published articles like “The politics of sitting down to pee”, an article about political peeing, How Accidentally Choosing a Female Avatar on Pokémon Go Changed My Perspective on Feminism, an article about a man who became a feminist after playing Pokemon Go and “Gepetto-ing is the new benching”, an article about toys… or something. The incoherence of the article prevents me from being able to decipher its meaning.

 

Cuck”, of course, is a derogatory term used to describe men who enjoy watching other men have sex with their wives. On the internet, the term is used to ridicule men who are seen as weak, effeminate, or “beta”. The fact that Gawker would launch a site with such a name is too good to be true. Three theories are currently circling the Internet regarding the site:

Theory 1: This is bait.

A few months ago, Gawker was slapped with a $140 million fine in a lawsuit by Hulk Hogan. Nick Denton, the founder and Owner of Gawker media, has appealed the decision several times and his appeal was rejected by the courts each time. He had no choice but to declare his company bankrupt. Gawker needs money, and they need it fast. Under normal circumstances, they’d just keep posting clickbait, but not even Gawker’s skilled clickbait writers can come up with $140 million. This calls for more aggressive measures. Since “The Cuck” was launched, the site has been shared on social media at least 300,000 times already. Almost everyone on my newsfeed was talking about it just moments after the site had launched. Every time you share an article from this site to make fun of it, you are earning them traffic and in effect, ad revenue.

“Let’s create a website where we pretend to be retarded, so people will share our articles to ridicule us, and earn us money”.

This is what I imagine was going through their brains when they came up with this filth. Which is why, throughout this article and every other article I will ever write, whenever I link to the Cuck, it won’t be a direct link to the site, but an archived version of it. I refuse to earn them money. Nice b8, m8, I r8 8/8.

Theory 2: Hulk Hogan is taking trolling to the next level.

After it became apparent that Gawker media was incapable and unwilling to pay the $140 million they owed Hulk Hogan, a judge ruled that Gawker had lied to the court about the value of their company, and gave Hulk Hogan the go-ahead to start seizing Gawker’s assets to cover his losses. At any time, on any day, for any reason, Hulk Hogan can take ownership of any property belonging to Gawker media, including their website.

The theory is that, Hulk Hogan finally got tired of waiting for his money, and decided to start having some fun with them. As the new owner of Gawker, he would simply have to instruct his employees to launch The Cuck, and start writing articles. The Gawker employees who refuse to follow through would probably get fired. I don’t know about you, but I’d choose humiliation over unemployment any day. If this theory is true, then it would mean that Gawker writers aren’t writing for the Cuck because they want to, but because they have no other choice. This would put Hulk Hogan among the top 10 trolls on the Internet in my book. Just one level below the notorious hacker known as 4chan.

  Theory 3: This is Gawker’s attempt at satire:

Everyone loves a good satirical article. Before The Onion became a Hillary Clinton propaganda machine, it was one of the sites I visited most. Hell, we here at AgeOfShitlords have spent a great deal of time writing some hilarious satirical articles ourselves. It’s possible that Gawker writers finally got tired of reporting real articles and decided to start writing fake ones. Which is funny, because most of the articles published by Gawker already sounded like satire.

I mean, this is the same website that published articles like:

If you ask me, The Cuck is no different from any other content on Gawker. We already knew Gawker was full of cucks, they are just now admitting it themselves.

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