After weeks of vague rumors, HBO confirmed today that “Last Week Tonight with John Oliver” will be rebranded into “Last Week Tonight with Debesh Kholiquzzaman Shahidullah.” Shahidullah, a well-known satirist in his native Bangladesh, will take over as host of Oliver’s popular satiric news show beginning next month.
It is not particularly clear why HBO has decided to can the beloved English comedian, but an anonymous HBO insider to Shitlord News suggests that it’s part of a new effort by the satellite network to cut down on unnecessary costs:
“John Oliver’s fans are bitching up a storm,” explained our source, “But the network’s going to save a lot of money by outsourcing its talents abroad like the rest of corporate America. What the fans don’t understand is that John is expensive. He received something like $2 million a year from HBO. We can get the same amount of sharp political commentary and cutting-edge wit from cheaper comedians in developing countries.”
While it is true that neither Shahidullah nor his translator can speak English, HBO will save as much as $1.9 million dollars a year hiring him. To overcome the language gap, the network has hired Shahidullah’s Hindi translator her very own English translator from Colombia. Our source described the English translator as “a bright 14-year-old high school student who’s now entering his second semester of studying English.”
Many of Oliver’s fans have taken to Twitter to express outrage at the change, but the general consensus seems to be positive. “This will be a great opportunity for diversity,” tweeted one user. Other internet commentators, who charged Oliver with be being a generic limousine liberal, have said that Oliver deserved to be fired.
“These rich bastards never complain about outsourcing when the jobs getting sent overseas are in factories,” said a man in a comment on John Oliver’s Facebook page. “Oliver never complained- Hell, he barely even mentioned- the disastrous Trans-Pacific Partnership free trade deal that was passed a few months ago. Let’s be honest here; he was more interested in mocking a presidential candidate’s surname instead of taking on the latest pile of NAFTA-style bullshit that his corporate bosses and media friends have pushed onto the working-class.”
When reached for a comment at his home in downtown Dhaka, Debesh Kholiquzzaman Shahidullah seemed to express great joy at his new position. It was not clear what Shahidullah was saying, but he smiled and laughed throughout the interview. “Mr. Debesh very happy, “his translator’s translator suggested. “Maybe he say to you, ‘Me so happy. Me so happy today.’”